Thursday, December 31, 2009

Last day of 2009

The last day of the year always leaves me feeling like there is something I wanted to do and didn't get it done. It really and truly does. I'm not one to make resolutions. I never have been and I don't think I ever will be, however, I always get this sensation on December 31st. Do you know the feeling? It's like when you suddenly realize that your keys aren't in your hand anymore, or your bank card isn't in the proper slot in your wallet and there is that momentary panic? You take a moment and realize that you keys are actually in your pocket and the bank card is in behind something else. Then there is that sense of relief! Tonight at midnight will be that sense of relief. It's a new year. A whole new page to be turned over, and started fresh. It's a new chance to put the past behind, and look forward to the future. 2009 was pretty kind to me. I'm none the less looking forward to the New Year, 2010. WOW! It's amazing isn't it, at 1201am a whole new year begins and the possibilities are endless.

I wish all of you a Very HAPPY, HEALTHY, PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR.

See ya next year!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Cheese...

that delectable, delicious milk product that calls to me from far and wide. Here I am....look how tasty I am....smell how good I smell? I admit, I have a love affair with cheese. Cheese is my downfall. It really and truly is. You know those blocks of cheese that you can get at Costco, the 1kg bricks that you think should last a couple of weeks at least. I can eat one of those in a week. Really! Truly! If I buy one of them, I can guarantee you that I will be having cheese with everything. I try to be good and get the light cheese, but still I still woof that thing back as though it was going out of style. Chop off a piece here, chop off a piece there, a nibble here a nibble there and before I knew it the brick was done and I'm saying to myself, where did all the cheese go??? When I rededicated myself to my weight loss regime, I said no more cheese. No matter what, I could not have it in the house. One serving is three points. Three! That's a baked a potato! I was really and truly missing my cheese, I always ask for cheese when I go to Subway, which isn't all that often, but it would give me my cheese fix now and then. I then substituted by eating cottage cheese. NOT THE SAME AT ALL!!!! Let me tell you, as a cheese connoisseur there is no mistaking cottage cheese for regular cheese!

Then, two weeks ago, at my WW meeting I heard about Laughing Cow cheese. Have you heard of this cheese? It comes in a pre packaged servings, and two wedges of this glorious cheese is only 1 point! Two wedges! 1 point!!!! Happy day! I now have my cheese fix. I really and truly do, it isn't the same as Cheddar, or Swiss or Havarti, but it really does give me my cheese fix. As I type this I'm having my evening snack of rice crackers and cheese. Very yummy, very satisfying. And best of all...I get to eat cheese again!

I didn't get online last night but I did make myself go to the gym last night and tonight. Hopefully I'll get over this head cold soon and will back up to full speed again. For now though here is my activity accountability charts for yesterday and today.

Date 28-Dec
Activity Cardio at gym
Duration 35min 34 sec
Time in Zone 36min 16 sec
Avg Heart Rate 127
Max Heart Rate 138
Calories 448

Date 29-Dec
Activity Cardio weights
Duration 1 hr 2min 6 sec
Time in Zone 55min, 50 sec
Avg Heart Rate 129
Max Heart Rate 151
Calories 826

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Christmas is my favorite time of year! I love getting together with family and friends. Catching up, hosting parties, hosting family. It's great all together. It's been a little rough. I've been fighting a horrible cold for going on two weeks now. Every couple of days I'll start to feel much better and then wham! I feel like I have been hit by a tonne of bricks. This unfortunately has meant that I haven't been getting a lot of activity in. I've simply been too exhausted or feeling too terrible. Even now, I feel as though my head weighs 50 pounds.

HOWEVER, I do need to get my activity going again. I didn't have an official weigh in yesterday as Weight Watchers was closed due to Boxing day, so I stepped on my own scale. A little afraid, as I haven't been tracking what I've been eating, simply because I haven't been feeling well. I did give myself permission not to count points on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I didn't count points, but I really did limit what I ate. I chose carefully and only had a little bit of each delectable item. I also made the HUGE decision not to do any baking this year. That's right, I didn't bake anything.

The way I see it, if I bake it, it means I have to eat it. My husband will eat it as well, but we're both doing so well with our exercises and weight loss that I didn't want to put a roadblock in our way. So... I simply didn't bake. The end result. I was up three pounds yesterday. Yep. Three pounds. I'm not surprised really considering I weighed my self the morning after my second Christmas dinner. I do mean full Christmas dinner. I'm also not disappointed. I knew that I was going to gain. I have six days until I have another official weigh in and that is my goal this week. I'm going to lose those three pounds, no matter how tired I am, or how horrible I feel, I'm going to be going to the gym, each and every night. I have work to do and I have to get back to it!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Great day!

Saturday was a great day! It really and truly was. I was a little concerned going to weigh in, I wasn't sure if I had managed to lose anything last week due to eating out so much. I did lose though! I lost 1.8 pounds! Total weight loss to date. 21.2 pounds. I'm proud of myself. I've worked hard to lose every ounce of those pounds. I want to hopefully be down 25 pounds by Christmas. I'm not compeletely sure how realistic that is, but we're going to give it my best shot.

Saturday was also my Christmas party. I love entertaining, I love having people over, I LOVE having a house full of people. I had all of that yesterday and more. I tried to make a really concious effort to ensure that I had good healthy choices for people and it paid off. I received numerous compliments on my cooking, which I really do appreciate. However, I also got many complements on the choices of food that people had. One person went so far as to tell me she loved the choices. She had been at another party the night previous where almost all of the food choices were high fat, high calories items. She loved the fact that I had this great big platter of Veggies. Instead of having a variety of cookies and cakes, I had a fruit platter, with chocolate fondue beside it, if someone really wanted it. I love the fact that I poured out about 90% of the chocolate. That made me feel really good!

It was a great succesful evening, everyone left happy, and had a great time. I'm already looking forward to my next big party, BOXING DAY BRUNCH! I'm going to try to find as many healthy choices for that morning as well.

This is this weeks Activity Accountability Chart.

Date Week Dec 6-12
Activity various
Duration 9hr 15min 45 sec
Time in Zone 8hr 10 min 23 sec
Avg Heart Rate 129
Max Heart Rate 144
Calories 6622

Friday, December 11, 2009

Gearing up...

...for weigh in...and Christmas party!

Yes I have my weigh in tomorrow. I'm hoping to maintain or have a slight loss from last week. Seeing as how often I ate out this week, I'll be happy with anything but a gain. I think I've done more than my fair share of time at the gym this week. As this is Friday, I did go to the gym tonight after dinner to get in my last chance workout. Here is my Activity Accountability Chart for today.
Date Dec 11th
Activity SC&E & Weights
Duration 1hour, 44min, 11sec
Time in Zone 1hour, 23min 11 sec
Avg Heart Rate 126bpm
Max Heart Rate 148 bpm
Calories 1290

I did take the dog for a walk today, but it was a very leisurely walk so I'm not counting it towards my activity for today.


I've spent my last official day on holidays getting ready for our Christmas party. My husband and I host one every year and it sounds like this will be a really good one, we're expecting a lot of people here throughout the evening so I hope it all goes off without a hitch. I spent the day cooking, I've made Cheese puffs, a Cheese ball, turkey balls, and devilled eggs. I'll do the rest tomorrow. This year I wanted to stay pretty healthy so I'm doing a huge Veggie platter with two different types of dips as well as a fruit platter. I fully realize not everyone is watching what they eat so I am making a chocolate fondue for the fruit to be dipped in. I've never done this before so I'm hoping it will work out all right. I'm looking forward to having a houseful of friends and family here to celebrate the season.

I will also attempt to get some activity in tomorrow morning. I'm not making any promises as I still have a fair amount to do to get ready for the party. I also have to borrow some one's vacuum cleaner. Ours died a very stinky death this evening so I'll call around in the morning, and see if my neighbors can lend me theirs. Otherwise I will have to go over to my parents and steal theirs. I also have a birthday party to go to. One of my best friend's daughter is having her 3rd birthday party tomorrow so we will pop over there to see them and give her, hopefully, a great birthday present. Then we'll have to hustle back over here to finish up for our own Shindig. I'm really looking forward to it! Have a super weekend!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Hanging in, and hanging on!

It's been an interesting week. It was my Birthday on Tuesday and technically I've been celebrating since last Saturday. It's hard to stay on plan when you seem to find yourself in a different restaurant every day of the week. You see, I also took the week off of work. I have holiday time I have to use up by the end of the month so with only a couple of weeks left I had to take the time off.

I'm been doing a lot more than just eating in restaurants. I've gotten a lot of activity in this week and I'll be posting that in a few minutes. I've been able to spend a lot of time with my mom and dad this week as well. I love spending time with my family and we just don't seem to get together as often as we used to.

Sunday was great, we went to my parents house to put up their Christmas lights. My sister and her husband soon joined us and then my brother arrived home and we had a great time together. I spent time with my mom on Monday, running around helping her with her Christmas shopping.

Tuesday, I have to admit, I was a big old bump on a log. Besides taking the dog for a walk in the morning, i didn't do a whole heck of a lot. My Husband got me two of my favorite movies on DVD so I popped some popcorn and had a movie watching afternoon. Then we went out for dinner to celebrate my official birthday. We went to a new restaurant in town called RAIN GRILL AND BAR. The food was fabulous, I love the look of the restaurant now, it's so cozy, the service was great as well. If you live in the Abbotsford area, you have got to check out RAIN! You won't be sorry.

Wednesday found me over at my parent's house once again. My dad insisted on taking me out for a birthday lunch. We went to a Greek Restaurant here in town and I really did try to make good choices. I chose a wrap for lunch and was filled with dismay when it arrived with....FRENCH FRIES!!!!!(insert dramatic music here)

I did good though, I ate my wrap and covered my plate with my napkin and when a server was walking by, I asked her to take my plate so that I wouldn't be tempted...I was quite proud of myself.(Insert theme song from Rocky here).

Today found me doing my grocery shopping for our Annual Christmas party, I had to go to the grocery store as well as Costco. Needless to say, my mom and I again, ended up in a restaurant for lunch. I chose the Southwest Chicken salad, no cheese and dressing on the side. It was very good.

All in all, I've had a lot of restaurant food this week, I've gotten used to ordering things how I want them prepared, and I've gotten over the feeling that I'm being demanding. I'm hanging in, and I'm hanging on. I'm hoping for a loss this week, I will be happy with a small one. Saturday will be here before we know it.

To help with the loss, here's my activity accountability charts for the past two days.

Date 9-Dec
Activity Dog walk
Duration 28min 15 sec
Time in Zone 24min 13 sec
Avg Heart Rate 129 bpm
Max Heart Rate 143 bpm
Calories 243

Date 9-Dec
Activity Elliptical
Duration 41min 20 sec
Time in Zone 32min 31 sec
Avg Heart Rate 131
Max Heart Rate 145
Calories 589

Date 9-Dec
Activity Dog walk
Duration 19min 45 sec
Time in Zone 15min 10 sec
Avg Heart Rate 121 bpm
Max Heart Rate 135 bpm
Calories 167


Date Dec 10th
Activity Dog walk
Duration 31 min 55 sec
Time in Zone 28min 12 sec
Avg Heart Rate 131 bpm
Max Heart Rate 151bpm
Calories 345

Date Dec 10th
Activity SC & E & SB
Duration 1hour 22min 14sec
Time in Zone 1 hour 11min 22sec
Avg Heart Rate 129
Max Heart Rate 138
Calories 988

Monday, December 7, 2009

Sticking to plan,

Is really hard this time of the year. It really is. It's not just all of the Christmas festivities, it also happens to be my birthday this week. In just a few short hours I will be 39 and around here, birthdays get a lot of attention.

It started on Saturday night when a friend who as going to the cookie exchange with me wanted to take me to dinner to celebrate my birthday. Now, when I go to restaurants, 99% of the time, I order salad. My friend made the stipulation that I couldn't have salad and I couldn't have a chicken burger. So I was very choosy with the menu and I picked a great points friendly meal. I'm very happy with that, including dinner out, the sampling of some cookies and the nibbles during the evening, I stayed on plan.

Yesterday was the family get together. Now, when we get together for some one's birthday, the deal is the birthday person gets to choose what they want for their birthday dinner. In previous years, I have asked for the triple cheese lasagna, or the knife and fork home made pizza. Not the best choices by any stretch of the imagination. Keeping my new eating plan in place, I asked my mom for either Cabbage rolls or a stir fry, choices that are good and I know that everyone else would like them as well. I also asked my mom not to get a cake. I didn't want it. I would end up eating more than my fair share of it. Instead, I brought over the cookies from the cookie exchange that we all nibbled on through out the day. Family birthday dinner, and I stayed on plan, I actually didn't use all of my points yesterday. Not bad at all.

I'm off work this week, using up the last of my holiday time for the year, so I spent the day helping my mom with her decorating and Christmas shopping. While we were out and about we ended up at Swiss Chalet for lunch. Now, my most favorite thing to order there is the Hot Chicken sandwich,(the one smothered in gravy) with a double order of fries. So...what did I order today? Go ahead guess, I dare you!

I was good, I was very good and ordered the minestrone soup and the Chicken on a Kaiser. NOW, I know what you're thinking, that's still really high in points, especially with that huge kaiser roll they use. Here's the thing, I picked the chicken off of the bun and only ate 1/4 of the bun, with my soup. Yep, I did great!

Add to this great eating plan, I also got a lot of activity in today! Despite the sub zero weather we're having right now (that I'm really not used to, we don't get it this cold here very often) I took the dog on not one, but two walks.

So without further ado...here is today's Activity Accountability Charts. Yes, Charts! I also went to the gym tonight.

Date Dec 7th
Activity Dog walk 3.5km
Duration 28min 57sec
Time in Zone 26min 33 sec
Avg Heart Rate 133bpm
Max Heart Rate 145bpm
Calories 332

Date Dec 7th
Activity Dog walk 2km
Duration 22min 18 sec
Time in Zone 16min 10sec
Avg Heart Rate 121 bpm
Max Heart Rate 132 bpm
Calories 178

Date Dec 7th
Activity Gym, Cardio
Duration 1hr 4min 52swc
Time in Zone 55min 30 sec
Avg Heart Rate 125bpm
Max Heart Rate 139 bpm
Calories 788

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Started the day off right.

I had a great night last night with my friends and the cookie exchange, I did well. I only had a shortbread cookies, a lemon square, a snicker doodle and a rum ball. We then had some cheese and crackers as well. I did great, I kept myself in check and had a fabulous points day yesterday.

Today started off great, had an English muffin with p-butter on it before heading to the gym, where I worked my buns off. My husband got me Jillian Michaels Hot Bod in a box from costco a little while ago, so today I did Work out 4 for my weights.

Today's Exercise routine.
Stair Climber, 30 minutes on Level 8(the whole time!!!!)
Weights: Wide Grip Lat pull down,
Medium underhand Grip pull down
Pelvic Thrust
BOSU Lunges ( She calls for Jumping lunges, I tried but couldn't do them)
Hill walk at incline of 12 for 1 minute speed 4mph.

Terry pulls
Standing Lat pull down
Back kicks with Shoulder press(I certainly don't have the form that they show on the card.)
Hill walk at incline of 12 for 1 minute speed 4mph.

Low dumbbell rows
Step ups (40 on alternating legs)
Butt Kicks (I really did kick myself in the butt a couple of times LOL!)

Incline Bicep Curls
Ball Crunches
One Leg Pelvic Thrusts
Butt Kicks

Dead Lift
Boat pose ( I couldn't do this, I tried a few times and then did 50 crunches)
Reverse Plank(again, I couldn't do this so I did the regular plank)

Elliptical 25 min on Hill Climb level 7(Goes up to level 17 during the program)

So this is what my Accountable Activity chart for today looks like.
Date December 6th
Activity Gym Workout
Duration 1hr 34min 15 sec
Time in Zone 1hr 27min 48 sec
Avg Heart Rate 142bpm
Max Heart Rate 165bpm
Calories 1442


Have a great day everyone!!!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Hard work pays off!!

It really and truly does. I worked hard at my program this week, I measured everything, I tracked everything, I took care to order food the way I really needed it to be. I dedicated my self at the gym and I worked hard at the gym, and it paid off. It really and truly did.

I was down 5 pounds this week!!! FIVE POUNDS!!!! YEAH!!! I feel so good, in 7 weeks I have lost 19.8 pounds. That's nothing to sneeze at I gauran darn tee you! I feel great about it.

Did I want to go to the gym every day that I did, no I didn't. Did I want to eat how I did, not really but I stuck to my plan and it worked. It really and truly worked. I am so happy!!!

I worked most of the day and came home early so that I could get my cookies baked for the cookie exchange I'm going to tonight. I baked low fat peppermint macaroons. They are only 1 point per cookie so I feel good about taking them. All in all, as far as cookies go, they are a pretty reasonble choice.

Once the cookies were out of the oven, the sun was still up so I leashed up Angus and off we went for our long walk around the block, the 2.5km walk, we did it in under a half hour, considering how many times the dog stopped to sniff or leave his scent I think we made pretty good time. Again, I didn't have to huff and puff my way up the hill. That feels so darn good!

I've also added up all of my time at the gym and put together my weekly activity accountability chart. The first week of being accountable for my activity and I think I did really great.

Here they are:
Date Dec 5th
Activity Dog walk
Duration 28min 45 sec
Time in Zone 27min 41sec
Avg Heart Rate 135
Max Heart Rate 150
Calories 260

Date Week Nov 29-Dec 5
Activity various
Duration 5hr 30min 55sec
Time in Zone 5hr 10min 19sec
Avg Heart Rate 135
Max Heart Rate 152 avg
Calories 3466

A pretty good calorie burn, and I'm not totally sure if the calories are acurate or not. I would love to be able to find a heart rate monitor similar to the MIO, but also lets me track my average heart rate, max heart rate and time, just as my polar heart rate monitor does.

If anyone knows of a brand that they use, please post a comment and let me know.

Have a great day! Katie:-)

Friday, December 4, 2009

Last Chance workout!

It is Friday night, which only means one thing. Tomorrow is weigh in day! I had a crazy busy day today and worked in both of my offices. I took lunch with me to work but didn't manage to eat any of it other than my mandarin orange. That was it. I was so hungry when I got home from work, my Dear Husband had started dinner for us so in no time at all we were eating dinner. After dinner we were both very good, we got in the car heading to get desert and changed our minds. I KNOW. We changed our minds, instead we ended up at the grocery store so I could get some baking supplies(making a few dozen cookies for a cookie exchange tomorrow night) and we even passed up on the bakery stuff. I had been tempted to grab a brownie but after seeing 500 calories and 34 grams of fat, holy cow, it will be frosty day in he## before I have a store bought brownie again. Instead I opted for a cadbury thin bar, 2 points, that's all, and then I didn't have it until after I got home from the gym.

I worked hard at the gym tonight. REALLY HARD!!! I did an hour of the Elliptical on the Mountain Climb Setting, the ramp at level 5 and the resistance started at level 6 and went as high as level 15. I was sweating up a storm. After my time on the Elliptical was up it was weight time.

Now the thing with weights, is you have to do then quite intensely to keep your heart rate up, but tonight I did it. I challenged myself on everything I did and upped the weights on everything.

Tonight I did: Triceps Press 21's 45lb's(7 wide, 7 med, 7 inner) x3
Straight arm pull down 65lb's 15 rep x 3
Double Ball Press 15lb's 15 rep x 3
Bosu Squats 25 x 3
Ball wall Lunge 25 x 3
Ball Bench press 30lb's x 15 reps x 3
Curl to ball Crunches 30 x 3
Pec Fly Ball Crunch 15lb's x 15reps x 3
Stair runs 2 ups and downs x 3
Lat pull downs 45lbs x 15 x 3
Superman on the ball, 20 x 3

It was a great work out. Here is my activity accountability chart for today.

Date Dec 4th
Activity Weights and Elliptical
Duration 1hr, 37min, 23sec
Time in Zone 1hr, 36min, 33sec
Avg Heart Rate 137
Max Heart Rate 155
Calories 1204

I'm hoping for a really good weigh in, I've put in a little over 5 hours of intense activity in this week, so here's for hoping for the best!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

A day of NSV's...

For those of you who don't know what a NSV is, it's a Non Scale Victory. It's a victory in my weight loss path that is not necessarily related to my weight on the scale. Today, I had a whole bunch of them. I had the kind of day, that makes you think, I can do this, I will do this!

NSV #1. My loving husband gave me a gorgeous pendant for Christmas two years ago. It's a beautiful necklace but when I first got it, it was too tight so I had to purchase an extender for it. I haven't worn it for quite some time but wanted to wear it today so I put it on, looked in the mirror and the pendant was hidden by my top. I took it off, took off the extender and put the necklace back on and it fits perfectly. The pendant is laying right where it is supposed to! HAPPY DANCE!!!

NSV #2. My husband drove my car last, and as he is much thinner then me, he usually moves the seat up and I move it back, well this morning, I just slid right into the driver's seat. I looked over at the passenger seat thinking perhaps he had moved it back but no, the driver's seat was ahead of the passenger seat so it was where he left it. An added bonus, my tummy isn't rubbing on the steering wheel! HAPPY DANCE!!!

NSV #3. I forgot part of my lunch at home today so I decided I would go to Subway to get a 6inch sub. The closest one is about a kilometre from work so on my lunch I decided to walk to Subway. I walked to Subway, had my lunch and walked back all within a half hour! HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE!!!!

NSV #4. My husband and I went to a Christmas dinner for a group that he is a member of. It was a buffet Turkey dinner with all of the trimmings! Turkey, dressing, carnberries, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, beans, salad, deserts! OH MY!!! I did fabulous. I took about 4oz of White Turkey meat, 1/4 cup of mashed potato, salad and green beans. I left the rest off of my plate. No Dressing, no gravy, no rolls, no deserts. AND I LOVED MY DINNER!!!!!

I'm so proud of myself. I did go back for seconds, of salad! That's all I had. I feel so good about facing tonight's challenge head on and doing so well at it. There were even little cups of Hershey's Kisses at our table setting, I LOVE Hershey's kisses, but I didn't have single one. I wasn't even tempted!

Then to top it all of, one of the members of the club who attends the same gym as we do, congratulated me on winning the Greatest Loser contest and told me that I'm looking really good.

What a great way to start the holiday season! Here's to many more NSV's in the future.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Plugging Along

I'm just plugging along on my journey here, don't mind me, coming through! LOL! It's been an interesting week at work, there's some stuff going on that makes life a little stressful. The difference is, I'm not eating my way through it. I'm really not, I've stayed on points, I've stuck to my plan, I'm doing good. I didn't get in any activity yesterday except for a quick dog walk at 630am, it was dark, cold and we hustled around the block! Even the dog didn't want to be out in the cold, so we did our once around the block in just over 15minutes. I'm not really counting it as exercise because hey, it was less than 20 minutes, and my heart didn't get a pumping. I'm trying to be as accountable as I can here and that means I also have to be brutally honest as well. I didn't get any activity in last night as I went for Christmas dinner get together with 12 ladies from the store where I work. I was a little worried about how I would do so I ate my points lightly and then I was very specific when I placed my dinner order. There weren't alot of points friendly foods on the menu so I ordered chicken cordon bleu and asked for them not to fry it, if they do fry it, then please just bring me a grilled chicken breast. I felt really awkward making demands but I've decided during this season (another Christmas dinner tomorrow night) that I have to be. I have a right to be. I'm trying to get used to being demanding. I'll have to let you know how that goes.

Today's activity Tracker

Activity Weights & Elliptical
Duration 1hr, 15min, 13 sec
Time in Zone 1hr,4min, 33 sec
Avg Heart Rate 131bpm
Max Heart Rate 149bpm
Calories 427

I'm not sure if I should be tracking my calories on my Heart Rate monitor, it is much lower than the calorie count on the machines, especially when I take the time to punch in my weight and age into the machines. I really have to think about it. Any opinions on that?

Have a great day everyone!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Activity Accountability

Well, it's day two of my activit accountability and I'm doing pretty good I think. Here's the grid for last night at the gym and today's activities.

Date Nov 29th
Activity Gym E&SC
Duration 45min 35 sec
Time in Zone 43min 35sec
Avg Heart Rate 133bpm
Max Heart Rate 151bpm
Calories 267 cal

Date Nov 30th
Activity Gym SC&SB
Duration 57min 58 sec
Time in Zone 46min 45 sec
Avg Heart Rate 124bpm
Max Heart Rate 154bpm
Calories 286 cal

Date Nov 30th
Activity Dog Walk/Jog
Duration 25min 10sec
Time in Zone 13min 37 sec
Avg Heart Rate 122 bpm
Max Heart Rate 207 bpm
Calories 146 cal

Not a bad total for excercise in two days. I'll be doing a weekly accountability chart every Saturday night, showing my weekly progress.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Accountibility

as defined by the Oxford Dictionary of Current English.
1. responsible; required to account for one's conduct. 2. explicable, understandable.

I had a few rough days last week, I made some poor choices that were reflected in my weigh in yesterday. It's time that I knock off my whining and get on with it. On reflection, I started this blog so that I would be accountable for my weight loss, the good days and the bad days. I've also decided that I need to be accountable for my exercise.

I took days off at the gym last week, not a big deal, I got right back on track and worked out. BUT did I work out as hard as I should have? I know that when I went to the gym yesterday I was feeling out of sorts. I was annoyed with myself and to be perfectly honest I wasn't in the mood or the right frame of mind to work out but I "Made" myself go to the gym. I put in a really half-hearted effort. I know I did. I wasn't sweating, I wasn't huffing and puffing, I was on the stair climber going through the motions but I wasn't "Working" at it. This was also reflected in my heart rate. Every time I looked at my hear rate monitor I was at 115-125, which is indeed perfectly acceptable, it's in the target heart range, but when you're used to seeing your average heart rate in the high 130's, to have an average heart rate of 118, means I wasn't really working at it.

I need to be accountable for my work outs, so, I'm going to start tracking them on here for the whole world to see. This was, you can see how hard I was working, really see how hard I was working.

So, let's start. It's 10:02 am, and I've taken the dog for his morning walk, we walked a little over 2.3 km's. I did do a little bit of jogging, I would jog from one lamp post to the next, walk for two lamp posts and repeat. UNTIL we started going up the hill. I'm glad to say that I'm not huffing and puffing to get up the hill like I was six months ago. I didn't have to stop to catch my breath, I just walked at a quick pace with the dog.

So, today's activity accountability chart, looks like this:

Date 29-Nov
Activity Dog Walk
Duration 28min 33 sec
Time in Zone 23min 15 sec
Avg Heart Rate 129
Max Heart Rate 150
Calories 157


I'll be back to add more later. I'll be going to the gym while my husband watches the Grey cup. Until then...have a great day!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Disappointed

as defined by the Oxford Dictionary of Current English.
1.fail to fulfil the desire or expectation of, 2. frustrate. adj. disappointed.

I am disappointed. I really and truly am. I went to my weigh in this morning and here's the thing. If I was on the "Biggest Loser", I would have stayed the same, but because I'm on Weight Watchers, and we measure pounds and ounces, I gained 6 ounces.

Now, to be fair, I know, its only six ounces, it could have been water retention, it could have been this, it could have been that. The plain spoken truth is I, yes I made poor choices.

Therefore I am disappointed in myself. I have no one else to blame. There wasn't any one making me order what I ordered at Restaurants this week. It wasn't like there was a gym guru telling me I wasn't allowed in the gym on Tuesday and Wednesday. I made those choices.

Turned out they were bad choices. BUT...I have changed! The old Katie would have used the slight gain today as a reason to splurge. See I can work so hard and not lose anything...blah...blah...blah. The NEW Katie, or I should say the IMPROVED Katie, has said, all right then, you got lax, you didn't follow program and you got what you deserved. NOW get off your duff, get with the program and smarten up.

Thus I have. I have eaten really well today, I went to the gym, albeit for only 40 minutes, but, I did go. I may go again this evening. I'm toying with the idea, we'll have to wait and see how the evening progresses.

So yes, I'm disappointed in myself for not sticking to program and making poor choices. But I'm not disappointed in how I'm handling the slight gain, this weeks gain, means a bigger loss next week. I will persevere.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Sabotage

as defined by the Oxford Dictionary of Current English:
1.Deliberate damage to productive capacity, exp as a political act. 2, destroy, spoil.

I have weigh in tomorrow morning, I've had four really good weeks of losses, I was feeling confidant. Now, I think I may have sabotaged myself. I purposely didn't go to the gym on Tuesday night. I was tired and I decided I could pass on Tuesday, I had gone to the gym every day for a week prior to that. Everyone needs a rest day now and then. However, on Wednesday, I had a hard day at work, wasn't in the mood to cook so suggested to dear Husband that we go out for dinner. We did, we went to Milestones, which I thought would be a good choice. I chose the Mediterranean Chicken. It's a chicken breast served with Goat's cheese and vegetables. Not bad sounding. I got my meal and the chicken was smothered, and I mean SMOTHERED with cheese. I scraped the majority of it off, and ate my chicken breast and veggies, which were chickpeas and I believe it was bok choy. However there was a vinaigrette type sauce on it. Turns out...not such a good choice 680 Calories, 31!!! Grams of fat, and 6 grams of fibre. Now I took off about 15 of those fat grams as I scraped off the cheese and didn't eat it but still! HOLY COW!!! Needless to say, after our late dinner I didn't go to the gym.

Thursday dawned and I went to the gym, great choice, worked out hard for 90 minutes, Elliptical on Hill Plus level 7 for an hour, 30minutes on the stair climber. Thursday I was doing great, eating right, feeling good. Thursday night comes along, I'm bored, I'm home alone. So what do I do? I pop a bag of smart pop popcorn. Not a bad choice, we're still doing all right, until I melted butter and poured it over top. Yep, stop me now right!?!

Friday....I go to get my hair permed, a friend of mine works in a salon in Burnaby, we go for lunch at Red Robin. I look through the menu, I discard the burgers, the wraps and the Clucks and greens. Instead, I again think I make a right choice by selecting their grilled Ciabatta Chicken Sandwich with a side salad, very light pesto, no mayo. Get home this afternoon, look up the points. Yep...not a good choice for me here either. 876 Calories, 54!!!!!!! Grams of fat, and 4 Grams of Fibre. Now, keeping in mind that I took some things off...this was still a BAD choice.

I did go to the gym tonight, worked hard for 45 minutes on the elliptical, 30 minutes of weight training and 15 minutes on the stair climber.

Still I worry about tomorrow and how it is that when I'm doing well, I do end up sabotaging myself.

Monday, November 23, 2009

The Battle Rages on....

I'm not talking about my battle with weight loss. Today I'm talking about my other passion. My drive to help find a cure for cancer. Those who know me personally know how strongly I feel about this horrid, horrid disease. There is too much of it and I know two beautiful wonderful ladies who are currently in the fight for their lives. They aren't the first I've known, but they are the ones that I'm trying to help now.

You see a few years ago, I didn't think that much about Cancer, nor it's effects. It was something that was removed from me and mine and that was fine. All that changed almost two years ago when a dear friend lost her mother to Cancer. It was the fourth time that year that someone I knew had lost a loved one and that was when I decided that I had to do something. I had to help, no matter what it was, I HAD to help! That was when I got involved in the Weekend to End Breast cancer. To read about that experience go to www.endcancer.ca/goto/katie.syroid There you will find my blog as I worked and trained in preparation for the 60km 2 day walk to end Breast Cancer.

Fast forward 18 months and through the magic of the Internet I met up with one of my old high school friends, I was excited to catch up with her and in turn devastated to know that she had been fighting cancer for the past several years. Her form of cancer is incurable. She takes weekly Chemo treatments to keep the cancer in check, without them she would only have a matter of months to live. Despite that, she is one of the greatest people to be around. She's always happy, cheerful and has nothing but good things to say. I love spending time with her and that's why this year I'm forming a team for the Relay for Life. It's a relay where you and your team walk through the night to raise funds for the Canadian Cancer Society. Our team here in Abbotsford is called Barb's Buccaneer's. Barb is the dear friend who introduced me last year to Relay. It was too late then for me to get a team together and get fundraising done. But this year the call is going out. We need ten team members for the relay Barb is going to be walking with us through the night. I would love to have a great big huge team. So please, think about it. If you're in the Abbotsford BC area, go to www.relayforlife.ca select join a team, and look for Barb's Buccaneer's. We would love to have you!!! As an added bonus, right now, you can register for the Relay for only 10.00!!!! That's less than half the usually registration fee. That's just two coffee's at Starbucks! Think about it, join us, or join a Relay for Life team in your area. You'll feel better doing it!!

Button up Pants!

I can now wear Button and Zipper pants without any elastic!!! How flipping cool is that. I have only worn pull on pants for as long as I can remember. I think I may have been in my early twenties the last time I wore jeans, but holy smokes I'm wearing a pair of Black pants that have no elastic, no spandex material, but an honest to goodness button and zipper closure. I was so excited about this when I tried them on Saturday! I bought them ages ago (2005ish?) and there they hung in my closet unworn as they were way too tight and they just looked dreadful, or so I thought. I work my new pants out with my friends on saturday and then I wore them yesterday afternoon when my husband and I went to see Blind Side. (An excellent movie by the way, I would highly recommend it!)

It is just so amazing that little things can make me this happy!

I guess I now have to buy a new skinny skirt and new zip up pants!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Successful Day!

Yes, I had a successful day yesterday. Started out with a great weigh in, got all the chores done and then it was "Girl" time. I went to the Christmas Craft Fair with two friends, we walked around the exhibits twice, bought some things, we had a lot of fun. I was very proud of myself for what I didn't buy. I didn't purchase the Fudge, the Jams, the Jellies, the Candies, the Chocolates. None of it. I didn't even sample any of it at all! I was so pleased, in the past I probably would have purchased and sampled my way around and this time I didn't. YEAH! I was very happy with that. Then it was back to our house for dinner. When we got back to the house we were all straving, dinner would be a while as I had to soak the basmati rice. Instead of going for chips etc. I cut up veggies for us and we had a great veggie platter to eat as an appetizer. Dinner was Fajita's with spanish rice, followed by Jello Nonfat Butterscotch pudding. This was followed a while later with some popcorn for watching during the movie.

I had been worried that the day would be a bit of a challege ,but I made it through with flying colors. I had acocunted for my points yesterday morning, carefully planning what I would have and how many points I could use for each meal. I was worried that I would overindulge and go over my points, but I did really well. I even counted the couple of nibbles of cheese I had while I was shredding the cheese up for the fajitas.

It was a sucessful day, and now I know, that I can have my girls nights without having to worry so much about losing control. Now I just have to plan the next one!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Weigh in day.

Good Saturday morning! It was weigh in morning this morning. There's something about weighing in on a Saturday morning at 8am that just starts your day off right. I think it's because I lost another 2.4 pounds for a total loss in five weeks of 15.4pounds!

~~~~~~~~Happy Dance, Happy Dance, Happy Dance~~~~~~~

It just totally made my morning, from weigh in I went and did my saturday errands which included Safeway, Mad Butcher, Costco and Petsmart. When I got home, instead of trying to haul all of the bags up the stairs at once as I usually do, I took one bag at a time. One bag and I ran up and down the stairs, easier than it sounds but when you have a cat and dog who want to get in on the action it makes it a little interesting. However, ten trips later dodging the cat and running around the dog, I had all the bags of groceries upstairs.

It's amazing how much easier things become. When we first moved into the house two years ago, I would never have considered running up and down the stairs once, let alone ten times! It makes you feel good when you start to do things you never could have done!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Great Day!

I had a great day! I worked the late shift at work today, which means I worked from 1-9pm. This morning was fabulous. I took the dog for a walk and then headed to the gym. 30minutes on the Elliptical, Level 6(I do the hill climb so it starts at six and goes as high as 17) It was awesome. Then I did my weights. The full meal deal, squats, lunges, triceps, lat pull downs, staight arm pull downs, bosu curl ups, hammer pivots, cross arm lifts, plank, superman, cross knee crunches, ball crunches, sliders, Pec fly crunch, all of them three times, then I did 30minutes on the stair climber, started today on level 6 for about 15 minutes and then boosted it up to level 8. When I was done ten minutes shy of 2 hours in the gym, I hustled home and got ready for work. My work day went awesome. Not only did I make a nice big sale but I didn't get hungry. Not at all. Usually on a night shift I'll start to get nibbly, but that wasn't the case tonight, mind you, I did drink 4 16oz bottles of water during work today, so that may help.

Tomorrow is my weigh in day. I'm looking forward to it and I'm hoping for a really good number this week. I went to the gym 6 out of 7 days. Not too bad if I may say so myself.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I Did it!

I went to the gym this morning at 6am. I must be crazy! I had planned last night that if I was up I would TRY to go to the gym. When I first woke up, I thought, no, I don't want to. Mind you when I first woke up it was before 530am, after the dog jumped on the bed and cuddled for a few minutes he needed out, so up I got and took him out the back for his morning business. I came back in and was about to climb back into bed when I decided, what's the point? I'm not going to go back to sleep, my husband has to get up in a few minutes and that means I'll spend the next two and a half hours sitting on the couch before I have to go to work.

Instead I got washed, dressed, kissed my husband good bye and headed to the gym. I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do when I got there but I figured it would come to me. Well, it turns out at my gym, the ladies only section is much busier in the mornings then it is in the afternoons. Besides two treadmills, the only other cardio machine available was the Stair Stepper machine. Now I didn't feel like walking, I don't really enjoy walking on the treadmill, not sure why I don't but that's the way it is. Instead, I stood at the stair climber, psyched myself up, climed on and started climbing. I did great!!! I set it up for 45 minutes at level 3 to start, moved it up to level 4, then level 5 and by the time I was done I was at level 6. Level 6!!! for 45 minutes!!! The first time I climbed onto that little machine about 9 months ago, I couldn't even do 5 minutes on level 1. Look at me go!!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

On the Road again...

..well not literally, but I was back at the gym today. My husband and I headed up after dinner to put in a cardio work out. 45minutes on the Elliptical today for a total of 3.4 miles. YAHOO!

I get so excited when I see the mileage creeping up on the machines that I'm on. It give me such a sense of accomplishment. I guess it's because when I take the dog for a walk, it's not just full steam ahead. I have to go his pace, let him do his doggy business, say hi to the other dogs, sniff around etc, that a 1km walk will take 15 minutes or so.

Today I did pretty good. I went knowing that I was just going to be doing cardio today, my hands are still too sore to be of much use so doing weights today was out. I'm hoping that my medication will have kicked back in by tomorrow and I'll be able to do weights and my version of a 'Last Chance Workout' on friday before Saturday mornings' weigh in.

I feel good having gone to the gym, I also have points left over for the day as well, so instead of popping popcorn once again, I stopped by starbucks on my way home and used my points there on a tall 1/4 sweet, non fat, no whip, peppermint white chocolate mocha. It was very yummy and used up 5 points.

I won't be going to the gym tomorrow as I'm doing a girls night with my sister, my mom and some mutual friends, we're going for dinner and then to see a theatre production of Pride and Prejudice. I'm quite excited about it and I already have my day and my meals planned out for tomorrow. It's going to be a great day!

Guilty

as defined by the Oxford Dictionary of Current English, 3, causing a feeling of guilt, 4 having commit ed a specific offense.

I was feeling guilty tonight. I haven't done anything wrong, but I didn't go to the gym. I probably should have, I most certainly could have but I didn't. I did NOT go to the gym. I didn't go intentionally. I was sore, and tired, and I chose not to go to the gym. Instead one of my friends came over talk and to watch the Biggest Loser with me. I thoroughly enjoyed having her over, I enjoyed watching the show with someone who enjoys the show. We laughed, we talked, we had a good time. The whole time though there was this little voice in the back of my mind saying,'you should be at the gym', 'you didn't go to the gym.','why aren't you at the gym'.

I was feeling guilty, simply because I made a decision not to go to the gym. I fully realize that I have nothing to feel guilty about. I've gone to the gym at least 6 times in the past week. I know that I don't have to go to the gym every single day of the week. I know that it is perfectly fine not to go to the gym all the time.

It's funny how when we're losing weight that we do this to ourselves. You skip going the gym once and you feel bad. You eat something that you really shouldn't and you feel bad about it and then we punish ourselves. We let the guilt for having done or not having done something take over, and we make ourselves feel bad, sometimes we punish ourselves for it.

Tonight is different though, in the grand scheme of things, yes I didn't go to the gym, I feel bad about it. It's not that big of a deal though. I'll go tomorrow and I'll enjoy it, or at least I'll tell myself I'm enjoying it.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Skinny Clothes

...we all have them, whether it be a pair of jeans, a dress, a skirt, each and every one of us have our "Skinny Clothes". The clothes that are just that little bit too snug when they were purchased, couldn't quite do up the zipper but we wanted them just that much. When you do wear them and they fit you feel as though you could conquer the world. You know what I'm talking about right????

Well, I have a skinny skirt. I bought it many, many, many years ago, it's a classic pencil skirt, a cute little slit on the back, no waistband and zips up on the side with an eye and hook to keep it all together. When I bought it, it didn't fit, I knew it didn't fit but it was on clearance, I loved the color and I wanted it. So I bought it. When I was first losing weight back in 2005, before I had my car accident I was able to wear my skinny skirt a couple of times. I was thrilled then and very proud to be able to wear my skinny skirt. Which by the way is a size 24. Now I realize, that isn't a lot of people's idea of a skinny skirt, but when you usually by the elastic waistband, yards of material, a size 24 pencil skirt is your skinny skirt!!

Since January, every once in a while, I'll pull out the skinny skirt and see how we are doing. I have to admit, when I pulled it out of the closet Monday morning, I didn't have a lot of high hopes for it. However, I slipped it on(notice I said slipped, there was no pulling, tugging or jumping up and down!), did up the hook and eye and zipped it up. I stood on my tippy toes to look in the bathroom mirror to see how it looked, then went through to my husband's office to see what he thought. He said it looked good, it wasn't too tight, there were no bulges or tight seams. So, I wore my skinny skirt to work.

Yes indeed. I wore my skinny skirt, and I'm proud of it, one more goal accomplished!

Now, I have to go shopping (insert evil laugh here) and get myself another skinny skirt, maybe, just maybe this time I'll buy it in a regular department store!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Setting Goals

Have you ever sat down with a notepad and pen and thought,'I need to set some goals.'? I am a goal setter. I readily admit it. I set a goal, I envision what I have to do to reach that goal, I work out my plan and start working towards it. This doesn't mean that I always reach my goals mind you. Sometimes I realize they aren't viable for me at that particular point in time, or they don't make sense or they are just all together are unrealistic.

However...when someone tries to tell me I can't do something, that I can't reach my goals, that it isn't attainable, well they don't know what they are talking about. Take for example the first year I did the Weekend to End Breast Cancer. It is a 60km walk through the streets of Vancouver. I signed up for the walk in January of 2008, shortly after learning that one of my best friends mom had been diagnosed with Cancer yet again and had only weeks to live. I decided then and there, at that moment that I had to do something about cancer, not just Breast Cancer, but all Cancers. In the middle of the night, too upset for my friend to sleep I saw the commercial for the Weekend to End Breast cancer, I came through to the computer and immediately signed up for it.

When my husband got up the next morning, I told him what I was doing and he gave me his total support, whatever I needed him to do to help me he would do. It was great, but there were others who told me I COULDN'T do it. I was too heavy, I was too out of shape, I would hurt my knee's, my ankles, on and on the list went. Every time one of those people told me I couldn't do it, I trained harder, walked further to build up my endurance and I DID IT!! I did it not just in 2008, but I did it this year as well, and I've already signed up for next year. I put my training plan in place, I trained for it and I succeeded.

I've come to realize that my weight loss is just like that. I want to lose weight. Great, but HOW am I going to do it? I didn't have a plan, I had a goal, Yes, I want to lose a hundred pounds. A huge amount when I think of it like that but that's what I HAVE to do. So how am I going to do it? Now that I've set my goal, I have to set out my plan, and I have to have mini goals along the way. I started out having a rough day today, I woke up hungry and craving chocolate, the craving bugged me all morning and into the afternoon. I finally satisfied the craving, not the way I once would have by going to the store and buying two or three chocolate bars and eating them. I went for coffee with my husband, we bought an oat fudge bar and split it between us. I knew going in what I was going to do, I had a plan, and that kept me on goal for today. Today's goal was to stay within my regular points allowance, I didn't want to go over and have to use some AP's or Flex points. I wanted to stay on plan, that was the goal for today.

The goal for tomorrow, is the same, stay on plan and go to the gym, spend an hour exercising.

The goal for next week, to lose two pounds at weigh in.

The goal for next month, to reach my 5% of me lost goal.

The goal for January, to start training for my walk, and my run. Yes my run, I've set a goal for myself. I'm going to actually RUN the CIBC Run for the cure next year. All 5km's of it. This year I walked it with some very special ladies. Next year, I want to run it.

For me, it's all about setting goals, and planning for achieving those goals. One day at a time will soon add up to a month at a time. It's not that hard when you break it down that way. At least I'm hoping it won't be as hard.

Proud

I had to change my weigh in day this week from Thursday night to Saturday morning. I have a few work shifts at night coming up and I'll be missing my weigh in so I think I'm going to make the move to Saturday mornings. I went to my first Saturday morning weigh in at 8am yesterday and found success. I was down 2.8lbs. That's a total of 13.1 pounds in four weeks. That's a pretty good average.

I felt good about my weigh in all day, it carried me through the weekly chores of grocery shopping,etc.

My husband and I decided to go for lunch at Tim Horton's. It is a little over a kilometre away, we drove down, I ordered the mushroom soup and I only ate half of it. That was enough, I was satisfied. Then I made the decision to walk home. It only took 14 minutes, and I once again made it up the hill without huffing and puffing along. I was happy, happy, happy.

After dinner, I made myself go to the gym. I really didn't want to but I did it! I did my 45 minutes on the Elliptical and then moved over to the treadmill where I am trying to learn how to run. Now, I realize so some people that may sound funny. Learn to run? What's to learn, you just run. But Trust me, when you have very rarely run in your life, you have to learn how to do it properly. Especially when you are my size. I had a trainer a few years ago, before I had my car accident who had put together a learn to run program for me. I pulled it out this week and looked through it and started at it.

I walked for the first minute, ran for 30 seconds, walked for a minute to recover, ran for 45 seconds, walked for a minute and a half, ran for 1 minute, walked for 2 minutes. You get the idea. I'm not ready for a race yet, I'm fairly certain it would make me keel over. However, I'm proud of what I accomplished today.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Choice

as defined by the same dictionary, as before, obviously the only dictionary I have LOL;-)
1a. act of choosing, b. thing or person chosen, 2. range from which to choose, 3. power of opportunity to choose.

The power of opportunity to choose...wow! What a clear message, the POWER of OPPORTUNITY to CHOOSE.  I have the power to choose the right thing.  I have the power to choose the wrong thing.  That's a pretty heavy concept.  I have the opportunity to choose the right or wrong thing.

I think for a huge part of my life, I did choose the wrong thing.  A lot of time I did choose the right thing.  Right now, today, yesterday and tomorrow, I'm choosing to do the right thing for me.
It doens't matter that I am choosing the proper food to eat, choosing to go to the gym or stay at home.  I have the power over what I choose to do. 

I chose to go to the gym tonight,I was tired, I didn't really feel like going.  I could have stayed home, watched tv, a movie, or read a book, but I made the choice to go to the gym.  I feel better for it, I moved this tired body of mine around for almost two hours.  I did 30 minutes on the Elliptical, I did 15 minutes on the Stairclimber, I did 45 minutes of weights and finished up with 15 minutes on the treadmill.  The choice I made today, will affect my tomorrow. 

I'm glad I got active today, because I want to choose the better tomorrow!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Rememberance Day

Those who know me personally know that I have family members, and friends in various military branches in both the UK and here at home.  This poem always brings me to tears, especially when I think of those who have the job that Gary and Daniel currently have that others I know have had in the past.  Please take a moment today to reflect on those who have lost their lives, loved ones, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, mother or father to give us the life we live.

THE FINAL INSPECTION




The soldier stood and faced God,

Which must always come to pass.

He hoped his shoes were shining,

Just as brightly as his brass.



'Step forward now, you soldier,

How shall I deal with you ?

Have you always turned the other cheek ?

To My Church have you been true?'



The soldier squared his shoulders and said,

'No, Lord, I guess I ain't.

Because those of us who carry guns,

Can't always be a saint.



I've had to work most Sundays,

And at times my talk was tough.

And sometimes I've been violent,

Because the world is awfully rough.



But, I never took a penny,

That wasn't mine to keep...

Though I worked a lot of overtime,

When the bills got just too steep.



And I never passed a cry for help,

Though at times I shook with fear.

And sometimes, God, forgive me,

I've wept unmanly tears.



I know I don't deserve a place,

Among the people here.

They never wanted me around,

Except to calm their fears.



If you've a place for me here, Lord,

It needn't be so grand.

I never expected or had too much,

But if you don't, I'll understand.



There was a silence all around the throne,

Where the saints had often trod.

As the soldier waited quietly,

For the judgment of his God.



'Step forward now, you soldier,

You've borne your burdens well.

Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,

You've done your time in Hell.'



Author Unknown~

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Emotional

as defined by the Oxford dictionary of Current English.
1. of or epressing emotions. 2 especially liable to emotion.  3 arousing emotion.

I have been emotional today.  Actually that's an understatement!  I HAVE BEEN EXTREMELY EMOTIONAL today.  That's better.  Let us be honest. I've been a raging hormonal emotional basketcase for most of the day.  Started crying this morning for no real good reason, this gave me a headache which made me miserable.  HOWEVER...I did succeed.  I did not give in as I once (in the not so distant past) would have done.  I didn't cry into a Venti- Extra Hot- Peppermint- White Chocolate Mocha with extra whip.  No, I did not.  Instead, I opted for a Tall Earl Grey tea, with a splenda in it.  I did not reach for chocolate or chips, or a hamburger or french fries or any of the other bad foods I would have chosen.  Instead, I made myself a good, well balanced lunch, Salad, cottage cheese, fruit cup, pear, and WW cheese twists.  I ate my lunch slowly through the day, one item at a time over the course of a couple of hours.  

When I got home from work I made a nice healthy dinner for my husband and I, then I met my brother for coffee, where I once again, forfeited my once upon a time Ambrosia for my soul White Chocolate Mocha, for a tall Earl Grey tea with a splenda.  Then...then, I the queen of excuses, the person who had a rough day, didn't want to do it but had to go anyway...I went to the gym at 8pm.  I did, I went to the gym and I got on the Elliptical and I went and I went and I went, all the while watching The Biggest Loser while I worked out.  For 55 minutes I worked my fanny off, and then I headed home, and instead of popping my usual bag of popcorn for a snack, I drank some more water, and had some fruit.  I did  great.

Emotional eating used to get the best of me.  Upset, heck yes, I'll take that quarter pounder with cheese, super size my fries and a diet coke, or that Large bag of Doritos, plus the Fruit and nut chocolate bar.

Today I got the upper hand on Emotional eating and didn't give in to it's lure.  I did it.  I conquered, and although emotional...I didn't eat that way.  I feel good!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

I feel good!

na na na na na na na.  I knew that I would....all right I'm no godfather of soul, but I feel good!  Actually, I feel great!!!!

I had a great weekend off from work.  I had an epiphany on friday when I got to buy much smaller clothes! (Yes, I am still doing the happy dance about that.)  Last night I hosted a dinner party with three guests, I made a fabulous meal, everyone went home satisfied and happy.  I was even asked for the recipe for my home made Ceasar dressing and for my pasta!  I stayed within my points, I actually had points left over!  How about that!

I had a great day today hanging out with my husband, we didn't do much, but we did go and get some books!  YEAH!  I love books, that's another subject for another day though.  I took my mom grocery shopping.  I made 2 new recipes from my newest cookbook purchase (The Best of Chef at Home!  I highly recommend it).   After dinner I was tired, and almost...almost...almost...didn't go to the gym. 

However, the queen of excuses, had no excuse today so off to the gym I went, and I had another fabulous work out and another epiphany!  Actually it was more like two of them!

The first one, as I'm on the elliptical,  my heart rate monitor kept beeping at me, I looked at it wondering what was wrong and it had my heart rate still quite low after about five minutes, so I bumped up the resistance to the next level, waited a few minutes and it was still beeping at me.  I had to bump the Elliptical up to level 5 to get my heart rate into the zone!  WAHOO!!!  For those of you who don't know why I'm so excited about this, it's because I'm healthier and I have to work harder!  YEAH!!! 

The next epiphany came when I was working with my weights and I realized, I can't watch my form properly.  Why you ask?  Because my shirt is literally hanging on me!  It's too big!  When I was doing my wall push up's I glanced in the mirror to make sure that my butt was in the proper position and my shirt looked like a dress.  It was billowing out in front of me when I went up and when I went down! 

I'm literally shrinking right before my eyes....How about that, that is just one more reason to feel good!

Friday, November 6, 2009

The number 5.

The number five has come to  mean alot to me today. 

Yesterday was November 5th and it was Weigh in day.  I went to my weigh in at 530 and this week I lost 1.4 pounds giving me a three week total of 10 pounds lost.

Today I went shopping for a couple of clothing items.  I normally hate clothes shopping as I always get upset by the clothes sizes and I get mad at myself for needing the largest size in the large ladies store.  Today I bought 5 items.  And I'm very, very excited about those five items.  You see, the last time I bought myself some shirts, I had to buy the 5X.   Wow, even typing that was hard, I WAS a 5X, sometimes it was a 6X, if they didn't have any 5's, I'd buy the 6 as a 4 was too small.  I've been working out since December, losing weight slowly but surely, so I decided I would be brave and try out the 4's.  I figured I'd lost some so why not tempt fate and try for the smaller size.  I found a couple of really cute tops for work and carried them back to the change room.

This is when I had my epiphany.  My clothes, and I mean ALL of my clothes...are way to big on me now...hehe.

You see I put on the first size 4X, and it was too big, Pulled it off and checked the tag, yes, it was indeed a 4x.  I put on the next top, it was also too big.  The sales clerk went to get me the 3x, to try that on, and that was too big!  I was really excited and a little apprehensive, was the 2 going to fit, would it be too tight...I waited in anticipation as the sales clerk came back and handed me my shirts over the door.  These were the coveted 2's.  Something that I don't remember ever wearing as an adult, I honestly don't.  But here we go, I pulled the 2 on over my head, put my arms in, turned around, looked in the mirror, and promptly burst into tears.

The sales clerk heard me, and asked concerned if I was all right.  I called through to her that I was, I was just having a moment and could she please do me one more favour.  She said of course,  and I asked her to please get me the 1X.  The 2X was too big!  In tears, I plopped down on the change room chair, grabbed my cell phone and promptly made two phone calls.  The first to my husband.  I'm in a 1 I yelled.  He was exicted for me, thrilled for me even!  Then I called my mom....sometimes a girl just needs to talk to her mom.  My mom was thrilled for me as well, as was the sales clerk who had come back with the precious size 1X in her hands.  She then looked at the new gym pants I had yet to try on and hurried off, she was back in a flash as I was staring at myself once again in the mirror, wearing the amazing 1X shirt.  She had brought back three different sizes of the pants, guessing correctly that I had no idea what size pant I wear now either.  Two sizes down in pants this shopping trip as well. 

I'm feeling great, and riding a high on my clothing expedition when I decide to head to the gym.  I plug in my headphones, jump on the elliptical and work hard, and I do mean hard, I'm huffing and puffing, sweating and steaming along.  When my time was up, an hour had passed and I had gone 5.12 miles. Yes indeed, 5.12 miles, for some people that may not be much, but for me, with these little legs, 5.12 miles is thrilling.

I'm thinking I need to get myself a lottery ticket tomorrow and make sure that there are a lot of 5's in there!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Fifteen things to do when I've lost the weight!

I was having a bad day on Sunday, I was working alone, it was quiet and I was bored.  On my lunch break I posted on the WW message board that I was bored and therefore wanted to munch.  One of the ladies posted back and told me to make a list of ways my life will be better for losing the weight.  Well I made that list and then I made another, and then another and then finally this one.  A list of 15 things that I don't do now because I feel that my weight is holding me back from doing them.

 Things I'l be able to do when I've lost enough weight.
1. Take the dog for a Run.
2. Wear a bathing Suit.
3. Shop in regular clothing stores.
4. Wear a shorter skirt.
5. Go on Amusement Park Rides
6. Go Horseback riding
7. Go Kayaking
8. Sit cross legged
9. Walk up the escalator at work without getting winded..
10. Run the CIBC Run for the Cure instead of walking it.


So here is my challenge.  Make your own list of things to do and mark them off, one by one as you accomplish them so that you can see how well you're doing.

Monday, November 2, 2009

The GYM!!!

The Gym...a place where we go to ritualistically torture ourselves.  We know we should go, we know it will help us get healthy, stay in shape etc.etc.etc.  We resist going as often as possible.  At least I do, I make excuses, oh I'm tired, my knee is sore, my back is sore, I don't have time, you name the excuse, I have probably used it at least once.  Here's the funny thing though, you go dragging your butt, you force yourself onto a machine, and thirty minutes later you are done and feeling great.  Sometime you feel so great that you restart the machine and do another 30 minutes, then another.  You feel great when you are done stretching!  You bob along home feeling great, you feel better, you sleep better, you are reaping the benefits. 

So why is it then, that I hate going so much.  I had to make myself go to the gym last night.  I did not want to go, but seeing as how I skipped Thursday(weigh in night no time, never mind the fact that I'm home from weigh in by 630), I skipped Friday( went for dinner and had to go grocery and pet food shopping, never mind that I was home by 8 and the gym is open until 11!)  I didn't go Saturday (just had to hand out the treats to all of the little kids roaming the streets in their costumes, oh yeah, we shut it down just before 8, again the gym is open until 11!) Didn't I tell you I was the queen of excuses?!?!?!?  I forced myself to go last night, and what did I do?  I did an hour, yes an hour on the elliptical, then I was feeling so good that I moved over to the Stairmaster for 20minutes.  I stretched and I felt great and I reaped the rewards for it!  I felt good and I slept really well.

So tonight I will repeat the whole process, but tonight, lucky me!  I get to work with weights as well.  I get to lie on a ball and do crazy things with my body.  It will be fun, I'll feel good afterwards...but, I'll come up with a few excuses before I make myself go the gym.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Temptation!!!

as defined by the Oxford Dictionary of Current English;1Tempting or being tempted; incitement esp.to wrong doing. 2.attractive thing or course of action. 3.archaic putting to the test.

I faced tempation today and I persevered!  I was faced with multiple temptations today but I held my own and go through each one!

I didn't give in to the free candy in the lunch room at work!  I didn't give in to the "fun" size chocolates that were screaming my name as I handed them out to all of  the kids who came to the door.  I didn't give in to the various "Snack" packs of chips that were being handed out either!

I faced tempation, and I won!!!

Yeah me!!!

Now to get through the next few days without ferreting out those little bitty chocolate bars and bags of chips that my husband so lovingly hid in order to help me out!  Tempation...I made it through it the day!

Happy Halloween everyone!

Friday, October 30, 2009

I skipped a day...

I know, I skipped yesterday.  I was feeling disappointed with myself.  You see, I went to my weekly Weigh In and meeting.  I was hopeful that the two hours I did in the Gym Wednesday would pay off and I would have another substantial loss.  I know...I had a MASSIVE loss in  my first week back on program so I shouldn't have had my hopes up to high, but I did.  I was hoping to see a two or a three.  I knew right away it wasn't good when the person filling in my book didn't use her calculator to do any adding or subracting. In fact she didn't even ask how my week had been.  Just gave me one of those looks that said please don't freak out when you see this.  I peeked at the numbers upside down and did a double take, blinked and looked again. I stayed the same!!! THE SAME!!!! I did an awesome work out on Wednesday night. I spent almost two full hours in the gym and I stayed the same!!!!  I was not in a good frame of mind.  I tried to not let it bother me while I was at my meeting.  I didn't let it bother me on my drive home.  I didn't let it bother me while I had my dinner.  When did I let it bother me?  When I made popcorn, melted butter, poured it over the top and added some white cheese popcorn seasoning to the bowl.    I was mad.  Then what happened.  I got madder still!  Man I hate that.  I get mad at myself for getting mad and then I go and do something like that.  It really wasn't all that bad.  I tracked it!  I put my points down!  I was still good, within my daily points. 

Today was a great day.  Stayed on track and made all the right choices.  So here is to today...and a great tomorrow!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Willpower

as defined by Oxford Current English Dictionary; control by deliberate purpose over impulse.

Willpower...I excercised some today! YEAH ME!!!

I had the day off of work today but had to go in for a little while as there was a sales rep coming in to see me and my staff. While I was there, another Sales rep arrived, candy bag in tow. I do mean Bag...She had this Big, huge bag filled with candy. The good kind of candy, the Crispy Crunch, Oh Henry, Coffee Crisp kind of candy. The kind of goody that I would normally take a couple and say thank you very much for the treat kind of candy.

Did I do it...NO! I said no! How about that?!?!? Not only did I say no once, I said it twice! Yep!
I said no to free chocolate, to free candy, to CHOCOLATE!!!!!

I excercised my willpower and I felt good about it. I didn't cave, I didn't give in. I stood my ground and made mysel say no.

I'm feeling pretty darned good about that!

Willpower...today I had some!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Change...

according to Oxford's Dictionary of Current English; 1a) a making or becoming different b)alteration or modification.

I started on this weight loss journey because I wanted to change. That was it. I didn't know what I wanted to change but I knew I had to change "Something" so that I could be different than what I was.

Change...it seems like such a simple word but it is actually quite hard to do. To change yourself, to change your body, to change your habits, to change your lifestyle. All of these things are very easy to say...they are actually very difficult to do. Think about it for just a moment. What if you had to "Change" one thing in your life and by doing that it meant that you could no longer have/eat/drink/enjoy XYZ. Do you really think you could change that one thing? Do you think it would be easy for you to do?

This is what I'm struggling with today. How do I permanently change the things that have made me the way that I am? How do I go about making that change? How do I succeed in making that change?

Change....a six letter word that is one of the hardest things to do in the world.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Energy...



according to the Oxford Dictionary, current English edition, Energy 1.capacity for activity, force, vigour. 2. Capacity of matter or radiation to do work.

Energy...I wish I had a lot more of it. Today has been one of those lazy days. We slept in this morning, which is pretty unusual in itself. I had a lazy morning, doing not a whole lot of anything. My afternoon has been again, a lazy afternoon. Spent most of it watching tv.

Energy...I have a dog with lots of it. Bless his heart when he gets going, he really gets going. I was feeling bad for being a lazy bump on a log today so I bundled up against the cold and drizzle and out we headed for our walk.


Energy....what I lack, the dog more than makes up for. He pulled me along into the park, running side to side as we went sniffing away. I know by the way he kept looking over his shoulder at me he was saying, 'come on mom move it! Puppy dog wants to run!'

Energy...what I'm going to have to find when I head to the gym this evening to work out. Today is cardio day. 45minutes on the Elliptical and 15 minutes on the torture device also known as the Stairmaster.

Energy...I could sure use some today.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

How does this happen?

Have you ever seen someone who appears to be in rough shape and ask yourself, how did they let that happen? It could be the homeless person on the street corner, the drunk stumbling out of the bar, or the fat person squeezing them self into a booth at a restaurant.

How do they let this happen to themselves? I honestly don't have an answer. I mean, personally, I couldn't tell you when I became fat. I don't remember every being "Skinny" to start with. In elementary school I was the fat kid that all the other kids made fun of. In High School, I was the fat kid that no one wanted to hang out with. The funny thing is....I never really saw myself as fat. I just didn't. When I looked into a mirror, I just saw me. Me for who I am. Me for who, I suppose I will always be.

The outer shell never really paid any part on who I was on the inside. Did I like high school? Not on your Nelly. I would never want to go back to that time period in my life. Never, ever, ever. I hated it. I hated it so much that to this day, I don't look back at it with any real fond memories at all. Yes there were things I enjoyed doing. Being in the high school band, the concert festivals, the few friends I had, some of my teachers that I had fun with. But being the "Fat" kid, doesn't mean that you have a lot of fun.

So...how did I become the size that I am? I couldn't tell you, the simple reason being. I just don't know. I came to the severe realization of how fat I was several years ago. My mother, sister and I went on a road trip over to Victoria. I had never been and I enjoyed going with them. I had a great weekend. Until I saw the pictures. I saw one picture of my mom and I, and that was when I saw myself. I mean I really and truly saw myself. I didn't recognize the face of the person in the pictures. That was not the face that I saw looking back at me. How heavy was I? I don't know, you see I was too embarrassed to weigh myself. I didn't want to know how much I weighed. I dieted on and off for several weeks before deciding to join Weight Watchers for the first time as an adult. (Oh yes, I've done Weight watchers before, as a teenager, I've done the Jenny Craig, the Fit for life, the Grapefruit diet, the Richard Simmons Deal a meal. I've done it all.) That was really the journey that changed my life.

I joined a gym for the first time ever, I watched what I ate, I wen to the gym. I got a personal trainer. I did it all and it made me a better person. It changed my personality, the way I saw myself and the way I saw others. It gave me the courage to date for the first time. I am very glad for that little item. This is when I met my dear, loving Husband Gary. With his love, and support, I'm back at it again, this time, I will succeed. Why this time? Because I know who I am, I know where I want to be.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Week One

Alright, so technically for me it's now week two, but hey, give a girl a break, it's taken me a week to decide if I wanted to let the world in on what I'm doing. I'm talking of course about being back OP or on Plan . Plan, what plan? My weight control plan, also known as Weight Watchers. I re-joined last week after being frustrated and disgruntled trying to do it on my own. I was finding that I didn't have any accountability so did it really matter if I had that bag of chips or that chocolate bar, or cake or pie or...all right you get the idea!

I threw myself back into my plan and here I am, morning of week 2, thrilled to pieces and trying to decide what to do next. My first week weigh in was fabulous. I lost 9 pounds. YES 9 pounds! How is that for being back on plan? I did discover last week, that I need to do a lot of planning to make this work. Planning my meals, cooking meals, planning to go to the gym, when to go to the gym. It all has to be planned out.

The biggest part for me is planning meals. You see, I'm passionate about cooking. I love cooking. I mean, I really LOVE cooking! I love the process of cooking, the gathering of the ingredients, the washing, the chopping, the sizzling, the smells, the textures. Most of all, I love knowing that something I made tastes good. I also LOVE baking. There is nothing better than eating bread you've made yourself. I mean, right from scratch, you've measured the water and sugar and yeast, you mix the flour with your hands, you knead the bread until you think you can't knead anymore, you watch it rise, you punch it down, you knead some more and then an hour later you pop it in the oven. There is nothing better than opening the oven door and hearing the crackle of the crust as it hardens in the oven, the hollow sound as you tap the top to see if it is ready and our course the wonderful aroma of baking bread. The steam pouring out as you cut the first slice.. Hhhmmm...is it any wonder there's a skinny girl in here somewhere fighting to get out?

I digress...back to meal planning. You see I have a wonderful husband who is very supportive in every way, and I want to make this exciting for him as well. I'm trying different recipes, different foods and combinations to see what works best. Last week I made Chili in the crock pot for us. I think it turned out all right, it wasn't too spicy, it was fairly low in points and it was pretty easy to make. All in all I think it was a success. The challenge is finding low point recipes and making them taste good for both of us.

Today is meal planning day. I'm off work today so I will try to plan out our meals for the coming week and then go grocery shopping to get everything in the house so there is no excuse for not eating healthy.

So...week two...here we come!