Saturday, October 31, 2009


as defined by the Oxford Dictionary of Current English;1Tempting or being tempted; incitement wrong doing. 2.attractive thing or course of action. 3.archaic putting to the test.

I faced tempation today and I persevered!  I was faced with multiple temptations today but I held my own and go through each one!

I didn't give in to the free candy in the lunch room at work!  I didn't give in to the "fun" size chocolates that were screaming my name as I handed them out to all of  the kids who came to the door.  I didn't give in to the various "Snack" packs of chips that were being handed out either!

I faced tempation, and I won!!!

Yeah me!!!

Now to get through the next few days without ferreting out those little bitty chocolate bars and bags of chips that my husband so lovingly hid in order to help me out!  Tempation...I made it through it the day!

Happy Halloween everyone!

Friday, October 30, 2009

I skipped a day...

I know, I skipped yesterday.  I was feeling disappointed with myself.  You see, I went to my weekly Weigh In and meeting.  I was hopeful that the two hours I did in the Gym Wednesday would pay off and I would have another substantial loss.  I know...I had a MASSIVE loss in  my first week back on program so I shouldn't have had my hopes up to high, but I did.  I was hoping to see a two or a three.  I knew right away it wasn't good when the person filling in my book didn't use her calculator to do any adding or subracting. In fact she didn't even ask how my week had been.  Just gave me one of those looks that said please don't freak out when you see this.  I peeked at the numbers upside down and did a double take, blinked and looked again. I stayed the same!!! THE SAME!!!! I did an awesome work out on Wednesday night. I spent almost two full hours in the gym and I stayed the same!!!!  I was not in a good frame of mind.  I tried to not let it bother me while I was at my meeting.  I didn't let it bother me on my drive home.  I didn't let it bother me while I had my dinner.  When did I let it bother me?  When I made popcorn, melted butter, poured it over the top and added some white cheese popcorn seasoning to the bowl.    I was mad.  Then what happened.  I got madder still!  Man I hate that.  I get mad at myself for getting mad and then I go and do something like that.  It really wasn't all that bad.  I tracked it!  I put my points down!  I was still good, within my daily points. 

Today was a great day.  Stayed on track and made all the right choices.  So here is to today...and a great tomorrow!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


as defined by Oxford Current English Dictionary; control by deliberate purpose over impulse.

Willpower...I excercised some today! YEAH ME!!!

I had the day off of work today but had to go in for a little while as there was a sales rep coming in to see me and my staff. While I was there, another Sales rep arrived, candy bag in tow. I do mean Bag...She had this Big, huge bag filled with candy. The good kind of candy, the Crispy Crunch, Oh Henry, Coffee Crisp kind of candy. The kind of goody that I would normally take a couple and say thank you very much for the treat kind of candy.

Did I do it...NO! I said no! How about that?!?!? Not only did I say no once, I said it twice! Yep!
I said no to free chocolate, to free candy, to CHOCOLATE!!!!!

I excercised my willpower and I felt good about it. I didn't cave, I didn't give in. I stood my ground and made mysel say no.

I'm feeling pretty darned good about that! I had some!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


according to Oxford's Dictionary of Current English; 1a) a making or becoming different b)alteration or modification.

I started on this weight loss journey because I wanted to change. That was it. I didn't know what I wanted to change but I knew I had to change "Something" so that I could be different than what I was. seems like such a simple word but it is actually quite hard to do. To change yourself, to change your body, to change your habits, to change your lifestyle. All of these things are very easy to say...they are actually very difficult to do. Think about it for just a moment. What if you had to "Change" one thing in your life and by doing that it meant that you could no longer have/eat/drink/enjoy XYZ. Do you really think you could change that one thing? Do you think it would be easy for you to do?

This is what I'm struggling with today. How do I permanently change the things that have made me the way that I am? How do I go about making that change? How do I succeed in making that change?

Change....a six letter word that is one of the hardest things to do in the world.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


according to the Oxford Dictionary, current English edition, Energy 1.capacity for activity, force, vigour. 2. Capacity of matter or radiation to do work.

Energy...I wish I had a lot more of it. Today has been one of those lazy days. We slept in this morning, which is pretty unusual in itself. I had a lazy morning, doing not a whole lot of anything. My afternoon has been again, a lazy afternoon. Spent most of it watching tv.

Energy...I have a dog with lots of it. Bless his heart when he gets going, he really gets going. I was feeling bad for being a lazy bump on a log today so I bundled up against the cold and drizzle and out we headed for our walk.

Energy....what I lack, the dog more than makes up for. He pulled me along into the park, running side to side as we went sniffing away. I know by the way he kept looking over his shoulder at me he was saying, 'come on mom move it! Puppy dog wants to run!'

Energy...what I'm going to have to find when I head to the gym this evening to work out. Today is cardio day. 45minutes on the Elliptical and 15 minutes on the torture device also known as the Stairmaster.

Energy...I could sure use some today.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

How does this happen?

Have you ever seen someone who appears to be in rough shape and ask yourself, how did they let that happen? It could be the homeless person on the street corner, the drunk stumbling out of the bar, or the fat person squeezing them self into a booth at a restaurant.

How do they let this happen to themselves? I honestly don't have an answer. I mean, personally, I couldn't tell you when I became fat. I don't remember every being "Skinny" to start with. In elementary school I was the fat kid that all the other kids made fun of. In High School, I was the fat kid that no one wanted to hang out with. The funny thing is....I never really saw myself as fat. I just didn't. When I looked into a mirror, I just saw me. Me for who I am. Me for who, I suppose I will always be.

The outer shell never really paid any part on who I was on the inside. Did I like high school? Not on your Nelly. I would never want to go back to that time period in my life. Never, ever, ever. I hated it. I hated it so much that to this day, I don't look back at it with any real fond memories at all. Yes there were things I enjoyed doing. Being in the high school band, the concert festivals, the few friends I had, some of my teachers that I had fun with. But being the "Fat" kid, doesn't mean that you have a lot of fun. did I become the size that I am? I couldn't tell you, the simple reason being. I just don't know. I came to the severe realization of how fat I was several years ago. My mother, sister and I went on a road trip over to Victoria. I had never been and I enjoyed going with them. I had a great weekend. Until I saw the pictures. I saw one picture of my mom and I, and that was when I saw myself. I mean I really and truly saw myself. I didn't recognize the face of the person in the pictures. That was not the face that I saw looking back at me. How heavy was I? I don't know, you see I was too embarrassed to weigh myself. I didn't want to know how much I weighed. I dieted on and off for several weeks before deciding to join Weight Watchers for the first time as an adult. (Oh yes, I've done Weight watchers before, as a teenager, I've done the Jenny Craig, the Fit for life, the Grapefruit diet, the Richard Simmons Deal a meal. I've done it all.) That was really the journey that changed my life.

I joined a gym for the first time ever, I watched what I ate, I wen to the gym. I got a personal trainer. I did it all and it made me a better person. It changed my personality, the way I saw myself and the way I saw others. It gave me the courage to date for the first time. I am very glad for that little item. This is when I met my dear, loving Husband Gary. With his love, and support, I'm back at it again, this time, I will succeed. Why this time? Because I know who I am, I know where I want to be.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Week One

Alright, so technically for me it's now week two, but hey, give a girl a break, it's taken me a week to decide if I wanted to let the world in on what I'm doing. I'm talking of course about being back OP or on Plan . Plan, what plan? My weight control plan, also known as Weight Watchers. I re-joined last week after being frustrated and disgruntled trying to do it on my own. I was finding that I didn't have any accountability so did it really matter if I had that bag of chips or that chocolate bar, or cake or pie or...all right you get the idea!

I threw myself back into my plan and here I am, morning of week 2, thrilled to pieces and trying to decide what to do next. My first week weigh in was fabulous. I lost 9 pounds. YES 9 pounds! How is that for being back on plan? I did discover last week, that I need to do a lot of planning to make this work. Planning my meals, cooking meals, planning to go to the gym, when to go to the gym. It all has to be planned out.

The biggest part for me is planning meals. You see, I'm passionate about cooking. I love cooking. I mean, I really LOVE cooking! I love the process of cooking, the gathering of the ingredients, the washing, the chopping, the sizzling, the smells, the textures. Most of all, I love knowing that something I made tastes good. I also LOVE baking. There is nothing better than eating bread you've made yourself. I mean, right from scratch, you've measured the water and sugar and yeast, you mix the flour with your hands, you knead the bread until you think you can't knead anymore, you watch it rise, you punch it down, you knead some more and then an hour later you pop it in the oven. There is nothing better than opening the oven door and hearing the crackle of the crust as it hardens in the oven, the hollow sound as you tap the top to see if it is ready and our course the wonderful aroma of baking bread. The steam pouring out as you cut the first slice.. it any wonder there's a skinny girl in here somewhere fighting to get out?

I digress...back to meal planning. You see I have a wonderful husband who is very supportive in every way, and I want to make this exciting for him as well. I'm trying different recipes, different foods and combinations to see what works best. Last week I made Chili in the crock pot for us. I think it turned out all right, it wasn't too spicy, it was fairly low in points and it was pretty easy to make. All in all I think it was a success. The challenge is finding low point recipes and making them taste good for both of us.

Today is meal planning day. I'm off work today so I will try to plan out our meals for the coming week and then go grocery shopping to get everything in the house so there is no excuse for not eating healthy.

So...week we come!