Guilty

as defined by the Oxford Dictionary of Current English, 3, causing a feeling of guilt, 4 having commit ed a specific offense.

I was feeling guilty tonight. I haven't done anything wrong, but I didn't go to the gym. I probably should have, I most certainly could have but I didn't. I did NOT go to the gym. I didn't go intentionally. I was sore, and tired, and I chose not to go to the gym. Instead one of my friends came over talk and to watch the Biggest Loser with me. I thoroughly enjoyed having her over, I enjoyed watching the show with someone who enjoys the show. We laughed, we talked, we had a good time. The whole time though there was this little voice in the back of my mind saying,'you should be at the gym', 'you didn't go to the gym.','why aren't you at the gym'.

I was feeling guilty, simply because I made a decision not to go to the gym. I fully realize that I have nothing to feel guilty about. I've gone to the gym at least 6 times in the past week. I know that I don't have to go to the gym every single day of the week. I know that it is perfectly fine not to go to the gym all the time.

It's funny how when we're losing weight that we do this to ourselves. You skip going the gym once and you feel bad. You eat something that you really shouldn't and you feel bad about it and then we punish ourselves. We let the guilt for having done or not having done something take over, and we make ourselves feel bad, sometimes we punish ourselves for it.

Tonight is different though, in the grand scheme of things, yes I didn't go to the gym, I feel bad about it. It's not that big of a deal though. I'll go tomorrow and I'll enjoy it, or at least I'll tell myself I'm enjoying it.